Entrapment within Inner Space: The Development and Review of Other Materials as Intentional Inclusions within Glass as a Creative Artistic Practice

Round 1

Reviewer 1 Report

As promised, this paper provides a wider context for artists working with inclusions in glass. It is presented in a logical way and compiles data about the combination of glass with other materials in art and technology. There is an interesting section on various artist's results using inclusions.

It possibly casts its net a little too wide - I would like to know which definition of inclusions the authors used, and am confused by illustrations of artworks that use electroforming and gluing, as I initially understood inclusion as an addition of other materials to glass in a hot state. Of course Adi Toch and Edmond Bryne stretch the term inclusion by giving equal value to glass and metal - in fact, glass could be seen as an inclusion within metal in some of their experiments.

In my opinion, this paper could be considerably improved by more detailed captions for the images. It is not always clear which technique was used in an image, for example in Figure 8, are metal and glass connected or juxtaposed, and if connected, glued or attached in a hot state? Again in Figures 4,5,7,9,10, 16, 20 and 23, it is not made clear how the different materials are combined. 

Otherwise I have found only very few small issues:

Line 171-171 refers to Egyptian faience and Egyptian paste - two terms describing the same material, which is not made clear in the text - and dates the earliest faience to 400BC, when it should be 4000BC or earlier.

176 "a soft ceramic core" - more accurate would be "a soft core containing ceramic materials"

186 "luted" is probably a mistake 

305 Table 1. Classification of inclusions in glass: "Luminescent glasses" - I believe this should not be classified as inclusions, as luminescent glasses are coloured homogenously - just like other coloured glasses.

Author Response

Many thanks for taking the time to review and make suggestions for edits to this paper. 

The paper has been considerably reduced and examples of cold inclusions (electro-forming and gluing) removed to focus the paper. The definition of an inclusion for this paper has been edited to a hot state internal inclusion.

The images captions have been improved to include more detail on techniques and materials.

Line 171-171 Egyptian faience was deleted.

176 changed to "a soft core containing ceramic materials"

186 "luted" removed

305 Table 1.  "Luminescent glasses" - removed.

Reviewer 2 Report

The paper is very interest and provides a good state of Art.

Please cheek the format of your article, as it needs more consistence. There are references that should be put in the text. Sometimes the page in the quotation is mentioned other times not. There is p. X, and other times pp. X

The author should see the “Instructions for Authors” of the journal. As the article must be written according to the journal's rules. Just one example the references should not have a comma between the name and date. It is (Ritter 2016) not (Ritter, 2016)

It would be important to put the date of birth and place of the artists chosen: Keith Cummings, Clifford Rainey, Mary Shaffer, Uta Majmudar, Bertil Vallien, Markku  Salo, Michael Glancy, Richard Ritter, Anna Dickinson, Adi Toch and Edmond Bryne, Bendall-Brunello, Groth, Leperlier, Morrison, Resnick-Rockriver and Suon & Callahan, Ray Flavell, Joanne Mitchell, (removed for peer review), Choi Keeryong, Sheila Labatt and Dian Shi

Please see:

P. 20, 21. Maybe you should take out the “and” and have: (removed for peer review) (2009), (removed for peer review) (2017) and . this is in other places, please check

P. 23 the sentences is confusing….

P. 31. It is “that proports that”… this is confusing

P.38. “Presented alongside each other for the first time “. It was already said in p. 34. Repetitive

In the paper there is the subsection 2.1, but not 2? You should have this after the I introduction. P 67  is a good place to put place section 2.

P. 103. Is this a quotation? Why is not in “…”?

P. 107-109 what is the page of the reference?

P. 109-110 what is the page of the reference?

P.117 is “different qualities from that of glass” , should be different qualities from glass

P. 126-127 what is the reference of: Most historians of glass are agreed that techniques for making glass were first discovered in the Bronze Age around the end of the third millennium BC.

P.200 you have pp.

P. 224 you have pp.

P. 283-285 what is the page of the reference?

P. 299 why is Corten with capital letter?

P. 402 what is the page of the reference?

P. 409-410 what is the page of the reference?

P. 418 what is the page of the reference?

P. 432-433 what is the page of the reference?

P. 467 what is the page of the reference?

P. 475-479. This paragraph is not clear. The authors are explaining why copper is used and then says “ This is the reason that artists employed other materials than copper in their artistic practice”. This is not connected with the last sentence. What are the other materials? They are not mentioned…. Please change and explain better

P. 490 where he built the glass blowing and teaching facility?

P. 504-505 Masters degree in Glass at the Royal College of Art, what is the date?

P. 778-783 what is the page of the reference?

Section 7 all the chosen artists have a PhD, so this can be mentioned better. Why it is important to make a research in glass, more artists are chosen to investigate how to integrate inclusions on glass

Figure 26 should have a better quality. It appears blurry

Author Response

Many thanks for taking the time to edit and review this paper. The paper has been reduced considerably. The format of the article has been improved, and missing references added. If a page reference is not made it is because it is from a webpage not a book. The references have been edited.

Not all of the artists agreed to have the POB & DOB included so this was not added.

P. 20, 21. removed the “and” and added comma

P. 23 sentence improved.
P. 31 sentence improved.

P.38. sentence improved.

p. 34. sentence improved.

The section have been improved.

P. 103. quotation improved.

P. 107-109 no page as it is a webpage/interview.

P. 109-110 no page as it is a webpage/interview.

P.117 changed sentence as requested

P. 126-127 added reference

P.200 improved

P. 283-285 no page as it is a webpage.

P. 299 why is Corten with capital letter? it is a brand name.
P. 402 no page as it is a webpage.
P. 409-410 no page as it is a webpage.

P. 418 no page as it is a webpage.
P. 432-433 no page as it is a webpage.

P. 467 no page as it is a webpage.

P. 475-479. Sentence improved.

P. 490 where he built the glass blowing and teaching facility? This has been added.

P. 504-505 Masters degree in Glass at the Royal College of Art, what is the date? Added in date.

P. 778-783 no page as it is a webpage.

Section 7 all the chosen artists have a PhD, the has been added.

Figure 26 this image has been improved.

Reviewer 3 Report

Title:

Entrapment: The development and review of other materials as intentional inclusions within glass as a creative artistic practice.

POSITIVES:

This paper aims to ‘Provide a context for the use of inclusions and inner space in glass as a means of creative practice-based research in artglass.’

The paper provides a broad range of information on different types of ‘inclusions’ in recent research in glass and the field of practice. It references and related historical and industrial techniques, and reviews the outcomes of including other materials such as ceramics and metals with hot and kiln-formed glass. It lists commonly used materials for ‘inclusions’ in art glass practice. The paper fills a gap in academic literature as a review on the topic of ’inclusions in glass’. The paper provides the beginnings of ‘a new perspective and context to the doctoral research projects and the subsequent post-doctoral work.’ (L38)

NEGATIVES:

The report’s structure creates a context too broad for an understanding of the meaning of ‘inclusions’ to be clear to the reader. The title specifies ‘intentional inclusions within glass as a creative artistic practice’ and the aim ‘to provide a context for inclusions and inner space in glass as a means of creative practice-based research’.  A structure which categorises how each discussed ‘inclusion’ type is determined (and why) would make the focus of the report and context clearer, as the reasons for including, for example, cold combinations of glass and metal and external applications as ‘inclusions’ are not made clear. The research design would benefit from elucidating on the relevance of unintentional 'inclusions' such as glassy materials (where the glass has changed state in its production such as in glass-ceramic), or metal oxides used to colour glass. 

The term 'inclusions' itself in relation to the title needs to be defined more clearly L22-3. Whilst several definitions of the word ‘inclusion’ are referenced, the title specifies ‘other materials as intentional inclusions within glass.’ The introduction also states that: “An inclusion within glassmaking can be defined as any material that is trapped inside glass during its formation.” The report specifies the aim to provide a context for ‘inclusions and inner space in glass as a means of creative practice-based research’.  Does electroforming fit in this catergorisation? Can adding metal to the outside of glass be classified as an ‘inclusion’ according to the authors’ definition?  Are any conclusions drawn from the electroforming section (L445) that are useful in the context of inclusions ‘trapped inside glass during its formation’? In what ways could ‘their technologies be used in the application of metal inclusions in glass’?

In Chapter 5, ‘Industrial applications for glass, metal or ceramic inclusions’: It is difficult to ascertain how the joining of metal and glass components in industry relates to the ‘inner space’ of inclusions in glass artworks. There could be more elaboration of industry’s specific technical use of external inclusions, for example in electric lightbulbs, to draw conclusions as to how it directly relates to artistic metal inclusions within artworks.

Reviewer suggests removing L229 – 234 as perhaps irrelevant to the discussion. Line 550 requires citation: ‘Professor Bernadeta Procyk from the Technology 551 Academy in Krakow did experiments with aluminum and glass casting; from these experiments she developed an insulating material.’

Whilst the review of artists who work with glass, ceramics and metals and combinations of those material is interesting and in many ways relevant to the report, there isn’t the stated 'Discussion of an emerging studio movement driven by studying inclusions and inner space in glass'. Should the examples given be defined as an emerging body of practice-based research in which artists are seen to be exploring the internal space of glass for creative expression? A structure which relates better to the title and aims will present the results more clearly.

It would be relevant to reference examples of hot and warm glass from studio practice in the late 20^th and early 21^st Century which often incorporate thin copper, metal leaf, aluminium, brass, nickel metal oxides and chrome (nichrome) as inclusions inside the glass (for example UK kiln formers Ruth Lyne, MacNeil Glass, and Jo Downs have regularly used them) and their use in blown glass for decades. If metal oxides are relevant as 'inclusions', the authors could also reference here the PhD research of Heike Bracklow into the use of metal oxides to create colour shades in kiln forming. More emphasis could be put on summarising the specific technical challenges of using inclusions in L822: “has identified the specific challenges and problems artists have had in the creative application of inclusions and the technological problems they can bring to practice.”

More analysis of the review of practitioners’ challenges to form a conclusion would be useful here. It would be helpful to clarify which metals the author’s research adds to the existing list of inclusions or how they have been made manageable.

Perhaps discuss further literature published on metal inclusions in glass: Look at the publication c2010 ‘Kiln fired glass: copper and metal inclusions’  by Boyce Lundstrom: https://cmog.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/fulldisplay?vid=01CORNING_INST:01CORNING_INST&search_scope=MyInstitution&tab=LibraryCatalog&docid=alma991296853504126&lang=en&context=L&virtualBrowse=true

Also worth mentioning the work of Albert Paley with Corning Museum of Glass in 2015 combining hot glass and Kovar metal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEBVSlCD1CI (0:42)

Further theses which could be referenced which refer to ‘inclusions and inner space’:

Minor errors:

L40 each project has had an impact on the preceding work – replace preceding with ‘subsequent’.

L158-9 sentence structure unclear “At the same time more craft glass products with the inclusions of medals, metal coins and other objects.”

L554 repetition of porcelain coins

L799 fig 33 is waterjet cut glass, not laser cut.

Check referencing with regards to:

Keeryong (2015)

Glubilee (2012)

Helmsley (2015)

Flavell (2001)

Labatt (2017)

Mitchell (2015)

Keeryong (2014)

Shi (2020)

Author Response

Many thanks for taking the time to review this paper and offer suggestions for editing. The paper has been considerably reduced and the focus of the case studies turned towards hot state inclusions. The definitions of inclusions have been made clearer for the reader. The structure of the paper has been moved around to improve the flow of the paper and to help the categorisation of the types of inclusions discussed by the case studies. The relevance of unintentional 'inclusions' has also been further defined. The term 'inclusions' has been defined more clearly throughout the paper. Gluing, electroforming and surface metal oxides have been removed from the case studies and the paper has focused on hot state inclusions. The section ‘Industrial applications for glass, metal or ceramic inclusions’ has been improved upon and extended.

L229 – 234 have been removed

Line 550 citation has been added

The'Discussion of an emerging studio movement driven by studying inclusions and inner space in glass' has been stated more strongly and defined as an emerging body of practice-based research.

Kiln formers Ruth Lyne and Jo Downs have been added as examples of the studio glass usage of copper and foils etc.  

Reference to metal oxides within the case studies have been removed.

L822: the specific challenges of working with inclusion has been added to and more analysis added.

The metals the author’s research adds to the existing list of inclusions has been added.

Further literature published on metal inclusions in glass added in Boyce Lundstrom. The PhD's of Denton and Topham (cold state) were considered but were not added. 

Minor errors:

L40 edited

L158-9 sentence improved

L799 Figure edited

Referencing checked

L554 sentence improved